“When we encounter another individual truly as a person, not as an object for use, we become fully human.”
—Martin Buber (1878-1965)
We human beings are said to be social animals, that we are naturally drawn to live in groups, be it a small family or a complex city. In these groups, we interact with each other; and we do so mostly because, like useful objects, we need something from them.
Other interactions, however, are more selfless and intimate;
they are not based on other people’s usefulness. In them we don’t treat others like
objects—but as “subjects.” In philosophy, this kind of relationship is referred
to as “intersubjectivity.”
What is Intersubjectivity?
The term “intersubjectivity” was coined by the
Austrian-German philosopher Edmund Husserl (1859-1938). It is a compound
of the prefix “inter,” which means “between” or “among,” and the philosophical
term “subject,” which refers to a conscious being.
Intersubjectivity is the interchange of thoughts and
feelings, both conscious and unconscious, between two subjects (or persons) as
facilitated by empathy. It refers to the human characteristic to engage in an intimate
and personal relationship with others who are different from, but also similar
to, oneself. It is the shared understanding among persons, made possible by the
mutual awareness and recognition of the self and the other as persons.
However, despite our intersubjective or authentic relationships with others, we still tend to become conscious with our self-image and with how others see us. Because of this, we tend to act differently before others, depending on who we are relating with. For example, we may act nicely when we are with our boss, while rudely when we are with our clients. This pretentiousness is known as “seeming.”
A. Seeming
Seeming is a way of approaching the other based on the image
one wants to impress on him/her, by what one wants the other to be. It involves
taking on roles or hiding aspects of oneself usually in order to appear more
desirable to the other.
Despite this tendency to pretend, however, we still strive for
a deeper and more genuine interaction with others. This more authentic interaction
is called “dialogue.”
B. Dialogue
A dialogue is an interaction between persons that happens
through speech or the use of words, expressions, and body language. It occurs
when two individuals view each other as an other; that is, when they
acknowledge each other’s presence, uniqueness and differences and treat each
other as equals. It is the opening up—the giving and receiving—of persons to
each other in their encounter.
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| Dialogue is the opening the giving and receiving of each other in an encounter. |
3 Levels of Intersubjectivity
There are 3 levels of intersubjectivity: empathy,
availability and ethics of care.
1. Empathy
Empathy is the ability to share the emotions of the other, or
“to put oneself in their shoes.” It is rooted in a person’s awareness that the
other is also a person who has feelings.
2. Availability
Availability refers the willingness of a person to be
present and be at the disposal of the other.
3. Ethics of Care
Ethics of Care, which is also a moral theory, emphasizes the
moral dimension of human interactions and relationships. It believes that the
self has the moral obligation to respond to the needs of the other, especially
the vulnerable, which it cannot ignore.
Martin Buber on Intersubjectivity
To dive deeper into the topic of intersubjectivity, let us
now turn to the Austrian Jewish philosopher who had a profound impact on how
modern thinkers saw human relationships—Martin Buber (1878-1965).
In his book I and Thou (1923), Buber identified 2
ways in which the self (or the I) relates with the other: the I-It relationship
and the I-Thou relationship.
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| Martin Buber (1878-1965), Austrian-Israeli Philosopher |
The I-It Relationship
According to Buber, the I-It relationship refers to the
world of sensation where there are objects. In this relationship, human persons
do not experience an authentic encounter with each other. Rather, what happens
is that the self (the “I”) treats the other as an object (an “it”) to be
experienced and used.
Deep down, the I-It relationship is all about oneself
because others are seen merely as objects that serve one’s interest. It is not
a dialogue but a monologue—a relationship with one’s own self. Examples of I-It
relationships are employers who treat workers like machines, and businesses that
use women in their advertisement just to increase sales.
This kind of relationship results into what is called “alienation.”
A. Alienation
Alienation happens when a relationship is inauthentic,
deceptive, and exploitative. It arises when the self ceases to view the other
as a distinct or authentic person and considers him/her as a mere object or
means to satisfy its interests. It is a disorientating sense of exclusion that
can lead to the other’s loss of dignity and humanity, resulting to his/her
dehumanization.
The “I-Thou” Relationship
In contrast to the I-It relationship, the I-Thou refers to
the world of encounters and relationships with other persons. It is a relationship
where there is a genuine sharing of one another, without objectification.
In this relationship, the I treats the other as distinctly other (a “Thou”), as another person who is different from itself, as someone who has different characteristics, beliefs, values, and interests. At its center is a genuine form of interaction—a dialogue.

